1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
