I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
