I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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