We won't sleep together?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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