doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
