He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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