hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
