i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
pray to the hookup gods
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
