Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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