There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
