Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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