Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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