hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize