Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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