I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
