The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
