The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
