You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
