He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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