no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
