I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
