i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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