More tranny stories later!
You work out of a Hotel?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize