forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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