Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
