Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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