census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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