he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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