i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i came on her dog
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
