You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
