He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
