You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
