oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
