part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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