He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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