I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
