If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
