it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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