I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
