You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Please don't give away my fajitas
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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