I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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