Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
