You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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