his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize