I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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