a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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