In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
