This is not my ceiling
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
