you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
