We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
