did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
how does that bad decision feel?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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