we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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