I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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