This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He passed out mid-signature
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
