I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
