How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
that is very illegal...i love you.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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