I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
