If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
