What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
