so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
