Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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