dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
