I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
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