At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
