She said her name was "party"
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
