either way he was missing a nipple.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
