Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
