i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Randomize
